hoping for gallstones?

Just because they are so cute:

The last few days I have been so much more tired.  By the time I get to work, I already want to go back to bed.  I would say how much coffee I am drinking, but its rather embarrassing.  Luckily I cannot drink it at my desk, or it probably would be worse.  By 9pm I am falling asleep on the couch.  This is just my life right now, I suppose.

The only way to feel more rested is to give up the pumping.  That way, at least I would have a bit of uninterrupted sleep once in awhile (there are a few nights where the girls do not wake up).  But I really don't want to do that, although it would make my life SO SO SO much easier.  I pump 8 times a day, and 3 of those are at work.  Even with all that, it isn't enough so we do supplement with the preemie infant formula; as I like to say, I make enough for 1.5 babies, but not for 2.  Luckily the formula is free due to their preemie status and we even get it delivered to the house once a month.  That stuff is (not only disgusting but) expensive...probably close to $20/can.  I have about 30 cans sitting in my basement right now.  That's a lot of formula.

But I really would like to make it to 6 months of pumping as a first goal.  I gave up after 4 months with Zev; going back to work just stressed out my supply too much and I was also breastfeeding.  It was too much to handle for me at the time and my supply was really hurting.  Now, I'm taking a happy drug to help with supply that I have to pay for out of pocket because it isn't FDA approved for that usage, and I have to get it at a special compounding pharmacy, which is also a pain in the butt.  So with the lack of sleep, having to escape from work to pump, taking drugs...all so I can give the girls the breastmilk...its a lot.  But obviously worth it to me.  While it does have so many inconveniences, this is something I can give them for such a limited amount of time so I'd like to do it as long as possible.

On a related physical update, I had an H.pylori test done this week, which came back negative.  I knew it would.  I am still having a lot of GI problems, and the next step is an ultrasound to rule out gallstones.  I do not think that is the problem, but an ultrasound is a heck of a lot less invasive than an upper endoscopy, which will be the next step.  So here's to hoping I have gallstones.  Ha.  In reality, I don't really care...I just want to know what's wrong.  Everytime I eat I am uncomfortable, and I have tried many many drugs that have not helped.  I'm already too skinny and don't need to deal with this as well.

On a positive note, I am so glad we have Meredith (new temp nanny) coming in.  Jason and I were able to go out for lunch last weekend, and we're hoping to do something this weekend as well.  Something to look forward to....