The last few days I have been so much more tired. By the time I get to work, I already want to go back to bed. I would say how much coffee I am drinking, but its rather embarrassing. Luckily I cannot drink it at my desk, or it probably would be worse. By 9pm I am falling asleep on the couch. This is just my life right now, I suppose.
The only way to feel more rested is to give up the pumping. That way, at least I would have a bit of uninterrupted sleep once in awhile (there are a few nights where the girls do not wake up). But I really don't want to do that, although it would make my life SO SO SO much easier. I pump 8 times a day, and 3 of those are at work. Even with all that, it isn't enough so we do supplement with the preemie infant formula; as I like to say, I make enough for 1.5 babies, but not for 2. Luckily the formula is free due to their preemie status and we even get it delivered to the house once a month. That stuff is (not only disgusting but) expensive...probably close to $20/can. I have about 30 cans sitting in my basement right now. That's a lot of formula.
But I really would like to make it to 6 months of pumping as a first goal. I gave up after 4 months with Zev; going back to work just stressed out my supply too much and I was also breastfeeding. It was too much to handle for me at the time and my supply was really hurting. Now, I'm taking a happy drug to help with supply that I have to pay for out of pocket because it isn't FDA approved for that usage, and I have to get it at a special compounding pharmacy, which is also a pain in the butt. So with the lack of sleep, having to escape from work to pump, taking drugs...all so I can give the girls the breastmilk...its a lot. But obviously worth it to me. While it does have so many inconveniences, this is something I can give them for such a limited amount of time so I'd like to do it as long as possible.
On a related physical update, I had an H.pylori test done this week, which came back negative. I knew it would. I am still having a lot of GI problems, and the next step is an ultrasound to rule out gallstones. I do not think that is the problem, but an ultrasound is a heck of a lot less invasive than an upper endoscopy, which will be the next step. So here's to hoping I have gallstones. Ha. In reality, I don't really care...I just want to know what's wrong. Everytime I eat I am uncomfortable, and I have tried many many drugs that have not helped. I'm already too skinny and don't need to deal with this as well.
On a positive note, I am so glad we have Meredith (new temp nanny) coming in. Jason and I were able to go out for lunch last weekend, and we're hoping to do something this weekend as well. Something to look forward to....