These things always happen to me

I'm back in the hospital.  I should be discharged today, but we can add one more hospital night stay to my resume.

I was home yesterday.  I woke up from a nap and had gone downstairs to make something to eat and pump before I was to head out and buy some 12 month girl's clothes from a woman I had been talking to through email; she had responded to a request I sent out through my 'Moms of Multiples' listserve asking if anyone was selling children's clothes.  As I was finishing cooking, I felt a 'twitch' and something 'move' in my abdomen...kind of like a gas pain or what it would feel like when I was pregnant and a baby kicked.  It didn't hurt, but it felt a little odd.  I looked down and my compression garment looked weird.  I unzipped it, and I realized my lower abdomen now looked 7 months pregnant:  it was hugely protruding, very hard, and had a dark hue to it.

This cannot be good.

I called my surgeon's clinic and just told them I was coming over.  I didn't waste time explaining.  I drove myself, which probably wasn't the best idea, but no one else was around and it would have taken time to wait for an ambulance or a taxi.  I got to the clinic in about 15 minutes, and they took me right to a room.  I called Jason on the way and told him he had to leave work and meet me there.  I was pretty sure the stitches had blown and I was going to need surgery...again.

Well, it wasn't that, but I did need surgery.  I burst a blood vessel and was developing a hematoma.  I felt another twitch while I got there, and a third one just as I was being laid out on the operating table.  It never hurt, but the pressure was incredibly uncomfortable, and getting worse as time went on.  And it was frightening.   Even my surgeon was surprised when he saw it; this is an extremely rare occurrence.  And it was just a "fluke"...there was nothing I had done that could have caused it.  A blood vessel just gave out.  Luckily they found the one that did and tied it off.  I lost a liter of blood.  When I woke up from the surgery, I felt so much better.

Since I lost so much blood, my surgeon had me transferred to Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital, which is where he is affiliated.  I haven't seen him yet today, but he is supposed to come here this morning to check on me and release me.  Jason was here when I checked in, but obviously he had to go home to be with the kids.  He's coming this morning before he goes to work (once again, I'm at a hospital he works at!) and will drive me home when they discharge me.

I'm feeling ok...but now really scared its going to happen again.  Because if something bad happens to anyone, it will happen to me.  I was hoping to go back to work next week, but since I now have another drainage tube, that is going to have to wait.  Which makes me feel bad.  But I'm also too scared to go:  I know this wasn't my fault, but I'm paranoid to do anything really 'active' now, even working.  So my plan is to spend the next few days/weekend in bed as much as I can.  Jason's mom is supposed to be coming this weekend anyway, so at least there will be a little help there.

My life seriously should be a TV-movie.  Because this is ridiculous.