So there are definitely good moments in there....
As a funny story: Meredith has been taking the kids out to community playgroups that are run by our town's family center. She took them to a rather big one the other day, and (of course) people were asking about the girls. "Are they twins", "Are they yours", etc. She told me a few people started inquiring about what Jason and I looked like....since the girls look so different in coloring, people were trying to ask (in a nice way) if Jason and I were a biracial couple.
I thought that was rather amusing.
And FYI, no we are not. Although Meorah does have my pink-ish coloring and light eyes, while Jason is one of those people who tans very easily and can get very dark, attributes Tzelia obviously shares.
I don't know where Zev got his light brown hair from, but he also has a pink skin tone although he has very dark eyes. So I guess he's a cross between the two of us.
I'm trying not to feel so negative. I think I'm just emotionally exhausted. Work is also very busy, so I really don't get much of a break. People tell me to stop pumping in the middle of the night, but honestly...its about the only 'me' time that I get. If it means slightly less sleep for half an hour of uninterrupted time, I'll take it. Jason himself has been going to bed later and later just so he too can have a little personal time.
Gotta take it when you can.
I was so sad to stop pumping. It was heaven to read a trashy magazine in those 5 minutes. It was heaven to be able to say "okay honey, you got 'em? I just HAVE to go pump now"!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wonder why anyone talks to me or is my friend anymore. I feel like I am just so negative and tired and angry at the world most of the time. It happens. We all understand, and being negative sometimes makes the good times even that much better.
I can definetly relate:) I have my negative moments as well.. sometimes the weekends come and I just say "i don't want to see anyone because everything aggevates me..." Usually if I have some time to myself even half an hour it usually helps:)
ReplyDeleteYour girls are so lovely and so big now! Adorable to see them together.
ReplyDeleteSorry you are still having a rough time. Do what feels right for you. Follow your heart and allow yourself to be happy, even 'selfish' if necessary. You're naturally a great mother; you couldn't do wrong for your children if you tried, so allow yourself some slack!
--Tamara/Aramat