Saturday, July 10, 2010

This is hard...

'Nuff said.

There are days I feel like I'm living someone else's life.  I never thought I'd have three children.  I never had a maternal instinct when I was younger.  Never wanted kids.  But then I met my husband and we got married.  And I realized I wanted a 'family' with him.  A 'family' is different than 'a baby'.  Had I never gotten married, I probably never would have heard the maternal clock ticking away...

And now I'm in a family of five.  Even in my original (and naive) daydreams, it never included three children.  One, maybe two.  But three?  And two at once?

And this is hard.  A toddler can be hard.  One baby can be hard.  Two babies can be hard.  But all three together....

My husband and I like to joke:  people with one baby have it easy.  Suckers.  People with a toddler and one baby?  Bah.  No right to complain.  The only people who have it worse are people with higher order multiples.  To them....I bow my head.

There is no break.  Someone always needs something.  To be held, to be fed, to be read to....

It never ends.

I know it will get easier.  I know these years are the hardest.  But I feel old...and when it does get easier, I'll be even older.

It sucks.  It really does sometimes.

Of course I love my children and I wouldn't change a thing....or would I?



  1. Hey girl. YOu need a hug. You really do.

    I know this sucks. I have twins (but no toddler) and that first year with them was the hardest thing I've ever done. It's still hard, but so much better than those days.

    You feel like this is all you're ever going to do...and that the old you is dead and buried. People tell you "it'll get better", "they're only babies once" and all that...and it just ticks you off (well, it used to tick me off!)

    I don't have any advice (sorry!) but i just wanted to tell you that I know how you feel...and there are others who are going through it (and have gone through it).

    Try to enjoy what you can...and get as much sleep as you can (I know...that's virtually impossible).


  2. Hang in there Sarah..Not having kids of my own, I have no room to speak, and I wouldn't know what it's like to have 3 kids under age 3..I hope that someday soon the stress of it all eases and you can enjoy motherhood. I suppose they weren't lying when they said it's the hardest job you'll ever have.