Still hanging in there

Tzelia had a bit of a set-back the other day.  It seems she has been regressing since Meorah left and ended up needing the NG placed again.  It was only for about two days, and she has it out again thankfully.  But it was so disappointing.  One step forward, one step back.

The nurses think her reflux has gotten worse, so they have prescribed her Prilosec.  Like mother, like daughter.  It will take a few days to work, so we will see if it improves her eating.  She is still sleepy and her O2 is still desaturating while she eats, and only when she eats.  Jason and I went over this morning with Meorah, and we did the double-duty feeding again.  We also think that she just misses us and the routine that we had had when Meorah was still in the hospital; it is too much of a coincidence that her symptoms became worse as soon as Meorah was discharged.  So, hopefully with both the Priolsec and with more consistent visiting/bf'ing, Tzelia will be home in about a week.

Meorah is doing great at home, though.  Eating like a champ.  But, it seems she didn't gain any weight since her pedi appointment a few days ago, so she will have another check-in next Monday.  No appointments until then, thank goodness.  We've been running around almost every day.

My stomach started up again on me today.  After we got back from the pedi, I was just overtaken by intense stomach pains.  Urg.  Its been on/off since then.  I'm going to update my PCP and see what she has to say.  I've been doubling the Prilosec, and while I am definitely better than I had been, I am also definitely not back to normal.  She said she could schedule an endoscopy for me, but I'd really rather not have to have that done...

So still in a holding pattern.  I updated my boss on the situation and told him I'd be back to work some time in mid-March.  He was fine with that and I have a meeting with him scheduled the first week of March to go over end of the year issues and goal-setting.  I am looking forward to going back to work...I still check my work email and see all of these meeting planned and wish I could go and see how things are going.  But soon enough...  I've got enough on my plate right now...

Here's to hoping that Tzelia comes home in the next week.  I think some of my stress is due to just waiting around and stressing about the hospital.  And, I find that I often have flashes of something wrong happening to Meorah now that she's home.  A left-over anxiety?  I don't know, but it really bothers me.  I don't remember feeling this much anxiety over Zev when he was an infant, but maybe I just blocked it out.  I think the NICU experience has just made me hyper-aware of all the bad things that could happen since I keep expecting to hear something....  a PTSD sort of thing.  I hope it goes away...