Saturday, December 26, 2009

Merry Christmas

Be-lated Merry Christmas.

We don't celebrate Christmas, but we do spend it at one of my mother's best friend's house every year.  We've been doing it as long as I can remember, and can remember missing only one year when we went on a Christmas cruise.  I always have a good time.  We hadn't been planning on going this year for two reasons:  my mother was going to be in Florida over Christmas and I was still going to be on bed rest and wouldn't be able to travel.  But, since the girls came early, my mother is now here and decided to stay long enough to make it to Jackie's for Christmas.  And, since I can now drive, we went as well.

Good times.  Good food.  It was fun bringing Zev and watching him have a good time.  He is a very social little boy and can be hysterically funny when he wants to be.  We actually lasted longer than I had originally thought we would...but eventually I was just too tired to make it any longer and we did have a long drive back home.  So after about 4 hours, we made our departure.  I asked Jason on the way home if I really did look so tired (people kept telling me so), and he said yes I did.  I wish it didn't show so much, but I just don't have the energy to pretend otherwise.

Before going over, I stopped by the hospital.  All the coming/going is starting to wear on me, honestly.  It is important to me that I go, especially now that we are doing more breastfeeding practice.  But I do get tired so quickly and I am not only physically exhausted but emotionally exhausted as well.  I think it would be easier if there were just one of them; I get there for Tzelia's care time and spend a good 45 min to an hour with her, holding her and rocking her and trying to learn her likes/dislikes....and then do the exact same thing with Meorah for another 45 min to an hour.  It doesn't sound like a lot of time, but it is a lot of concentration in that little period and I'm doing it on so little sleep.  I don't know if it will be better or worse once they come home...they will come home on bottles most likely, which means Jason will be able to help with some of the feedings.  But then it will be 24 hour care rather than just half the day.  If I'm this tired now...

Tomorrow we get to bring Zev to the hospital to see the girls for the first time.  He won't be impressed; he has no conceptual understanding of what a 'sister' is and won't be able to appreciate that they are family and will be coming home eventually.  But I'm hoping to bring him over a few times so when they do come home, at least he will recognize them.  My parents will also come by, now that the flu ban has been lifted.  I'm glad the protocol was changed before my mother went back to Florida:  she's leaving on Sunday morning so the timing was perfect.

Back to bed.  Hope to not sleep through the next feeding.  It has happened a few times, but I try not to stress about it...I figure I need the sleep.

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